Rhubarb

By Kelly McLendon

Carolyn A. DeForest, Ph.D., answers questions about how menstruation is perceived as a taboo subject and what would happen if men bled each month. DeForest is the founder of Ruby’s Red Wash, a natural stain remover used to clean menstrual blood from underwear.

1.  Do you think menstruating is still often seen as taboo in society?

Most definitely. In certain circles, women talk about it amongst themselves but they also “know” where and when not to bring it up. I’m still trying to get my product in more local stores here in Pittsburgh, and I’m meeting much resistance—even from locally run lingerie stores and an age-old Pittsburgh pharmacy known for selling unusual and hard-to-find products. They sell makeup, perfume, bath products, tampons, pads, incontinence gear, and I’m sure they fill birth control prescriptions, but somehow Ruby’s Red Wash “is not for (them).” Why? Every woman or girl who bleeds needs a good stain remover. The underlying message in this scenario and countless others is that we are supposed to deal with our bleeding and stains in secret.

2. How can women start to feel more empowered and strengthened by menstruating, instead of feeling like it’s an inconvenience?

I think it is important to look at menstruation from a real human point of view. Real women and girls who bleed know what it’s like, and the truth is that it is uncomfortable at times—and messy and inconvenient at times. The problem is that messages from culture want us to see our cycles as only that. The reason I created my product was to give women and girls something practical they need during menstruation and to package it in such a way that doesn’t talk down to women or portray menstruation as a ball-and-chain—as a dirty, negative secret about female being. I think the answer to combating such negative messages about menstruating is to start a dialogue about bleeding (even if it’s only with one’s self) to change the mantras. Take the time to find out what menstruation actually is even if no one around you wants to talk about it, chart your period if you find that useful, find products that work for you, start talking to girlfriends and start talking openly with your doctor. And if you have a doctor who is not receptive to your discussion, shop for another doctor.

Lastly, don’t date or marry any man who thinks your period is “gross” and who can’t stand to talk about it or run to the drugstore for you. That’s a big sign that he doesn’t appreciate or respect female being and he doesn’t respect you. I wouldn’t spend 10 minutes with a man who saw my period as something to tolerate about me.

 3. If men bled, how would the world be different?

If men bled, menstruation would be viewed as a legitimate aspect of human being and would be dealt with differently by research, medicine, religion, schools, advertisers, television, and movies. I guarantee you that menstruation would not be seen as a reason for men’s irrationality and inferiority, and discussions of bleeding and its issues would not be merely whispered about by men. It would be on the table and discussed—and often. And those darn tampon and pad machines in public restrooms would be stocked and working; probably for free, too.

4. Do you think the ceremonial aspect of having a first period has been lost? How can women honour their bodies during this time?

Maybe I missed it, but I don’t have any evidence that the ceremonial aspect (not a positive one, at least) of having a first period was ever truly openly found for any length of time. Personally, I would have given anything to have one of these first period kits that mothers and aunts and friends are buying or putting together these days. The other thing that girls and women can do for themselves is to just pay attention to the fact that they are bleeding, to be mindful that their bodies and minds are in the midst of this fluctuation. We deserve the right to take special care of ourselves during this time. Current patriarchal culture including medicine, menstrual education, and advertising wants us to believe that our periods “interfere” with our lives, rather than having us experience our periods as a legitimate part of our lives.